oy the mess ive made. i really need some professional help. ok so heres my problem. i told my boyfriend i have to go to thailand and i had a bunch of stupid reasons why i had to go. we broke up a night before i left. i was even sad! i like the guy. i think he’s funny and thats a lot for me. i love waking up with him in the morning. he is a very good huger. he loves old movies. he travelled more then me (!). he hates cats maybe thats why i left, lol. loves ice cream. knows when to shut me up. good guy really. a person that wasnt left as a kid again and again cant know the fear i have of being left again so i leave first.

anyway, im on the plane talking to this italian guy next to me eating something….. indian i guess. i land in bangkok and check my emails. great. i get a stupid advice from this guy telling me not to leave. and i get an email from R telling me he is on his way to be with me. great! what happened to i need to work? got a test next week? unbelievable. so now he is here with me. and i want to die.

do i complain too much? i just read what i wrote and i do bitch a lot. a nice guy is here with me on this beautiful island. no reason to be scared. at these times i really love israel. its far far away and people are too scared of going there. lol. im such an easy going person i should relax and have a good time.

but if he’s gonna ask me to marry him and i run away again im becoming a nun and thats final! ok my ride is here im gonna go.

E- im worried about you. you cant send me this email and not respond again. i told you that if you need me im there for you. if youre in trouble i can fly anywhere and be with you. canada, mexico, europe you name it and im there. lihiavr@gmail.com. im not sure whats going on but i promise you that youre not alone! 

well wish me luck!